When I made the decision to do the DNA analysis I was hoping it would lead me to my bio dad, I didn't expect it to lead me to my a bio aunt on my mother's side that I had no idea existed. Here she is though, and the question of how to proceed next is looming. My aunt and I are in a loose agreement on how to handle the situation, although I think if it were completely up to her she would dust it under the rug and move on. This isn't because she doesn't care, but I think she is afraid of how this will affect our family. While I too am concerned about this, I want to make contact.
There is a lot of things to consider first, I have said it from the beginning, my goal in searching for my bio dad and now this new relative is not to disrupt or destroy anyone's lives. While it is true I don't know how much this new "aunt" knows about her past, or her mother's past, there are a few things I know for sure.
1. She did a DNA analysis. The why is the big question here. I have done a little Facebook "stalking"..I like to call it casual searching, and it seems that she was raised with two seemingly loving parents. Is she adopted? Did her mother have an affair? Has she always suspected that maybe there was more to her story? Was she simply trying to make a family tree only to discover that people she thought were her relatives, aren't.
2. She joined Ancestry.com, did some research, but hasn't logged into the website in over a year. Again, why? Was she trying to find some evidence, something concrete to prove who she is, but gave up? Is it possible when the DNA information came back, she realized there was something not right and just abandoned it.
I tried emailing her right after I got my results, but never heard back. This either means she doesn't use that email address anymore or she doesn't want to confront the situation.
As someone who doesn't know their bio dad, I feel like she has a right to know. That she NEEDS to know. If someone knew who my biological father was, I would think they would have an obligation to tell me. I realize my situation is different though, I didn't grow up with two loving parents, there is no doubt that I do not know my father. The situation is complex, and I don't think, unfortunately, that there is a "right" way to handle this. For now, I sit, and wait.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Toxic Parents
I have a toxic mother, not just your household Clorox and Ammonia mustard gas kind of toxic, but a complete and total nuclear Chernobyl kind of toxic. The only thing my mother ever did to benefit me was allow my grandparents to raise me. In reality that wasn't for me really, it was for her, a kid really stood in the way of bouncing from guy to guy and getting attention, and taking pills. My mother really is the most selfish person I have ever met.
My understanding of things is that she wasn't always this way, up until around 15 or so she was as pure and honest as if Snow White and George Washington had gotten together and produced this perfect little offspring. Then something happened, or so my grandmother says, my mother went out one night with a friend (a boy) or maybe a group, not sure, and when she came back, she was different. Something happened that night, no one knows what and my mother has never said, but my grandmother swears that was the night that changed her forever. When I think of that, it breaks my heart, to think if that is true, how differently her life could have been. It has taken me years to realize though, that I can't fix that, I can't change it and I can't change her. As much as I would like to.
I loved my mother as child, she was this mythical person I put on a pedestal and thought could do no wrong. She would promise she had sent my birthday present, my Christmas gift must have been lost in the mail, "WHAT!?! I didn't get my Easter card!!" It took me years to realize that she was great at promising things, and terrible at following through. It wasn't about money, even though I know she didn't have a lot, I never wanted anything extravagant, I just wanted her. I was never important enough.
My mother lies and manipulates, she invents reasons to hate people. She was married once to a man with a daughter. She started being horrible to the girl, because she was "lazy" "useless" "a thug" in reality she couldn't handle not being the center of attention. She has faked miscarriages, cancer, she claims to have a plethora of diseases that are killing her. I pity her, because one day she will really be sick, and no one will be there, at least no one that REALLY cares, because she has lied too many times and hurt too many people.
I decided to go no contact with her, it was triggered by a negative paternity with the man she always swore was my biological father, the decision was a long time coming though. It wasn't the negative test that did it, I really believe deep down inside she thought and still wants to believe it is him. It was the way she handled the situation, physical attacks towards a family member, a voice mail on my phone that my husband said was so hateful he wouldn't let me hear it. Most of all though, it was her inability to take responsibility for the situation. It was all about what was done to HER, how SHE was hurt, how SHE was the victim. Never once did she ask how I was handling things, or this poor man who was so accepting of me and who was starting to believe I could be his child. 8 years later and she has yet to apologize for anything. I have had my daughter since then and have made the decision to remain no contact. I have family members who still have a relationship with her who criticize this decision. They think I am doing it out of spite and anger, and that it is coming from a hateful place, that I am just trying to hurt her
. That couldn't be further from the truth. It has to do with self preservation, with protecting my heart and my child. I have been through things with my mother that no one knows or could ever understand. I don't like the way things are, I wish things could be different. No one likes not having a mother. It still hurts, but I don't grieve anymore. I have moved past it, I don't let it "eat me alive" as some family members have suggested. I have accepted it.
My understanding of things is that she wasn't always this way, up until around 15 or so she was as pure and honest as if Snow White and George Washington had gotten together and produced this perfect little offspring. Then something happened, or so my grandmother says, my mother went out one night with a friend (a boy) or maybe a group, not sure, and when she came back, she was different. Something happened that night, no one knows what and my mother has never said, but my grandmother swears that was the night that changed her forever. When I think of that, it breaks my heart, to think if that is true, how differently her life could have been. It has taken me years to realize though, that I can't fix that, I can't change it and I can't change her. As much as I would like to.
I loved my mother as child, she was this mythical person I put on a pedestal and thought could do no wrong. She would promise she had sent my birthday present, my Christmas gift must have been lost in the mail, "WHAT!?! I didn't get my Easter card!!" It took me years to realize that she was great at promising things, and terrible at following through. It wasn't about money, even though I know she didn't have a lot, I never wanted anything extravagant, I just wanted her. I was never important enough.
My mother lies and manipulates, she invents reasons to hate people. She was married once to a man with a daughter. She started being horrible to the girl, because she was "lazy" "useless" "a thug" in reality she couldn't handle not being the center of attention. She has faked miscarriages, cancer, she claims to have a plethora of diseases that are killing her. I pity her, because one day she will really be sick, and no one will be there, at least no one that REALLY cares, because she has lied too many times and hurt too many people.
I decided to go no contact with her, it was triggered by a negative paternity with the man she always swore was my biological father, the decision was a long time coming though. It wasn't the negative test that did it, I really believe deep down inside she thought and still wants to believe it is him. It was the way she handled the situation, physical attacks towards a family member, a voice mail on my phone that my husband said was so hateful he wouldn't let me hear it. Most of all though, it was her inability to take responsibility for the situation. It was all about what was done to HER, how SHE was hurt, how SHE was the victim. Never once did she ask how I was handling things, or this poor man who was so accepting of me and who was starting to believe I could be his child. 8 years later and she has yet to apologize for anything. I have had my daughter since then and have made the decision to remain no contact. I have family members who still have a relationship with her who criticize this decision. They think I am doing it out of spite and anger, and that it is coming from a hateful place, that I am just trying to hurt her
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
MIA
So WAY back in February I posted about doing the Family Tree DNA test in hopes of getting one step closer to finding my bio dad. I swabbed my mouth, sent my kit away and waited very impatiently for my results to arrive. It took approximately 5 weeks for the results to come back and my test results were...shocking.
First, I would like to point out how many of these people, matches, "family members" wouldn't even respond to my email! Now, I understand, some people may have changed their email addresses, or may just not want to get involved with some random woman looking for a birth father and opening up a whole big can of worms in their own families, but isn't it common courtesy, we are cousins after all! Most of my matches were 2nd-4th cousin range or 3rd-5th, not super helpful. I did have one "immediate" match though, and I almost peed myself when I saw it. She was listed as a possible half sibling, aunt, or grandparent. I compared matches we had in common thinking that I may have just found a long lost aunt, my father's sister. I sent her an email, she still hasn't responded, either she doesn't use that email address of she was as freaked out as I was. I emailed people we had in common and one very nice lady did respond. We determined we are related on my maternal grandfather's side of the family....wait....hold up.....maternal grandfather....possible aunt, oh yes, my grandfather it would appear had a "love" child. To solidify this possibility my aunt (mother's sister) has also done the test and this woman comes back as a sibling for her. That sure makes things interesting. As of this moment I am unsure how to proceed with that information. My aunt doesn't think we should do anything, she thinks it would just cause too much drama. I on the other hand think I should try reaching out again. Maybe she signed up and did the DNA test looking for her father, I know how that feels. I think I found her on Facebook, but how do you send a message like that? I have temporarily put that on the back burner while I ponder my next move.
Having my aunt do the test was very helpful, or somewhat helpful, I was able to weed out matches we have in common and it has helped me narrow down people who are most likely related to me on my father's side. I had emailed some of these people the first time around, and got very little information. I am considering trying again to see what information I might be able pry out of them. I have discovered I am most likely of a cajun descent on my father's side. Seeing matches, knowing I am just an email away from people who share the same dna as my father is very emotional, and exciting, and confusing, and sad all at the same time. Part of my was thinking, or hoping rather, that just one of them would reach out with open arms and help, really help me. No one has done that yet. What I do know is that of the 3 possible men who I thought my bio dad could be, none of them were cajun that I know of, that doesn't mean much, I don't know anything about any of them really, but that could also mean there is a 4th man out there. I don't know who he could be, and to be completely honest, in a way that up until this second I haven't been, I can't say what the circumstances surrounding my conception was. My mother, for all intent and purpose was a 17 year old runaway, was it a one night stand? Was it a guy she had been interested in? Was I a product of rape? I don't know the answer, and she isn't saying. No matter what it was, I have a right to know, and I will do everything in my power to find out.
First, I would like to point out how many of these people, matches, "family members" wouldn't even respond to my email! Now, I understand, some people may have changed their email addresses, or may just not want to get involved with some random woman looking for a birth father and opening up a whole big can of worms in their own families, but isn't it common courtesy, we are cousins after all! Most of my matches were 2nd-4th cousin range or 3rd-5th, not super helpful. I did have one "immediate" match though, and I almost peed myself when I saw it. She was listed as a possible half sibling, aunt, or grandparent. I compared matches we had in common thinking that I may have just found a long lost aunt, my father's sister. I sent her an email, she still hasn't responded, either she doesn't use that email address of she was as freaked out as I was. I emailed people we had in common and one very nice lady did respond. We determined we are related on my maternal grandfather's side of the family....wait....hold up.....maternal grandfather....possible aunt, oh yes, my grandfather it would appear had a "love" child. To solidify this possibility my aunt (mother's sister) has also done the test and this woman comes back as a sibling for her. That sure makes things interesting. As of this moment I am unsure how to proceed with that information. My aunt doesn't think we should do anything, she thinks it would just cause too much drama. I on the other hand think I should try reaching out again. Maybe she signed up and did the DNA test looking for her father, I know how that feels. I think I found her on Facebook, but how do you send a message like that? I have temporarily put that on the back burner while I ponder my next move.
Having my aunt do the test was very helpful, or somewhat helpful, I was able to weed out matches we have in common and it has helped me narrow down people who are most likely related to me on my father's side. I had emailed some of these people the first time around, and got very little information. I am considering trying again to see what information I might be able pry out of them. I have discovered I am most likely of a cajun descent on my father's side. Seeing matches, knowing I am just an email away from people who share the same dna as my father is very emotional, and exciting, and confusing, and sad all at the same time. Part of my was thinking, or hoping rather, that just one of them would reach out with open arms and help, really help me. No one has done that yet. What I do know is that of the 3 possible men who I thought my bio dad could be, none of them were cajun that I know of, that doesn't mean much, I don't know anything about any of them really, but that could also mean there is a 4th man out there. I don't know who he could be, and to be completely honest, in a way that up until this second I haven't been, I can't say what the circumstances surrounding my conception was. My mother, for all intent and purpose was a 17 year old runaway, was it a one night stand? Was it a guy she had been interested in? Was I a product of rape? I don't know the answer, and she isn't saying. No matter what it was, I have a right to know, and I will do everything in my power to find out.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Then comes baby in the baby carriage.
It seems like every single woman I know of child bearing age got pregnant at the same time, 9 months ago, and now those same women are having their babies. I am happy for them, I really really am, they are my friend's, of course I am happy. I am also jealous, and sad, and angry. It was not easy for me to get pregnant with M, I always knew it would be a little more difficult, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome when I was around 18, but no one took the time to explain to me what that really meant. When O and I got married I made the decision to not go on birth control and let nature take it's course, the problem was, nothing happened, for 5 years, nothing happened. I finally went to my gynecologist who handed me a pill and said see you when you're pregnant. It took me another 6 months to realize that wasn't working and to finally go see a reproductive endocrinologist. We did all the normal things, blood tests, semen analysis (O is such a trooper), checking my tubes, etc., etc., etc., months passed, and even though they were able to get me ovulating, I still wasn't getting pregnant. We decided to try intrauterine insemination, basically they just helped O's little swimmers get closer to where they needed to be. It's no where near as invasive or complex as In Vitro and it worked! February 2011 I was pregnant! March 2011, I miscarried. It was the single most terrible experience of my life. My body had failed me, and I had failed my unborn child, because that is what he was, my child. I say he because we chose to have genetic testing done to determine the cause of the miscarriage, the test came back inconclusive but did reveal that he was a male embryo, my son, the son everyone in the family wanted. I went into a deep depression, I had always said in my heart I always knew I would get pregnant, but I was terrified of staying pregnant, and this just confirmed that fear.
Months passed, I got to a point where I could not even see a baby in a commercial on TV without breaking down, I missed friend's baby showers because it was too painful. In October 2011 we decided we were ready to try again. We switched doctors after being extremely unhappy with the way our previous doctor had handled things. The first month with we were pregnant. I was so excited and happy, and petrified. I cried because I wasn't having morning sickness, my boobs didn't hurt, I didn't feel pregnant, I wanted to FEEL pregnant. The first ultrasound was terrifying, but there she was, she was there with a little heart beat and everything was perfect. I bought one of those home doppler machines and listened to heart beat just to make sure she was still in there, every day, sometimes twice a day, sometimes at 2am when I got up to pee. I had a picture perfect pregnancy....until 24 weeks.
It was Easter Sunday and I just felt off, I can't really put my finger on it, but I was off enough that I called my ob/gyn. My doctor was on call and told me I could come into the ER if I wanted but since I couldn't really tell her what exactly was "off" I chose not to. I had a scheduled 24 week appointment that Tuesday and figured I could wait until then. When my appointment day came I was still feeling off and having some back pain but nothing too severe. The doctor and I talked for a minute and she told me that she had been thinking about me, and almost called me in on Monday. She decided to check my cervix, I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. They performed an ultrasound and M looked good. I immediately admitted me to labor and delivery. Once I was stable they made the decision to air lift me to a larger hospital in a much larger city. I was there for three weeks, M was born at 27 weeks, 2lbs 4oz. She spent 92 days in the hospital, had emergency surgery at 5 days old, a second surgery around 2 months, almost died from an infection, but she came home, healthy. You would never know by looking at her the rough start she had.
O and I made the decision that I would have a trans abdominal cerclage placed, basically they go in and stich the top of my cervix where it meets my uterus, that way if we did have another child we wouldn't have to worry about my cervix failing again.
Another child, do I want another child? Depends what day of the week it is, I would love for M to have a sibling. I see all my friends having babies and I miss that. I would love the chance to do it again. To see what it would be like to go to term, to actually feel my baby move inside me, to leave the hospital with a baby in my arms instead of walking out knowing my baby is laying in an incubator fighting for her life. But babies are expensive, daycare is expensive, and I just don't think we can afford that. I honestly don't see how families do it? $700.00 a month, and I know we live in an area where it is more affordable, some places it can be $1200.00 or more. Could we make it work? Probably. That would mean cutting way back, no more vacations, no more cable (could we live without The Disney Channel and The Walking Dead?), and I just don't know how nutritious hamburger helper and ramen noodles every night really is. Plus I don't know if I have it in me to go through fertility treatment again, the pills, and the temperatures, the ultrasounds and injections. I would have moved Heaven and Earth to have M, but I just don't feel the same way. Maybe that means I don't want it, not REALLY. Maybe it is all just baby fever from seeing all my friends with their new bundles of joy. Or maybe I am just scared, scared of another miscarriage, scared that I am getting older and the next time it won't be so easy, scared that God will think I am being greedy, that he already gave me such a miracle, who am I to ask for a second one?
Joy*
Joy*
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Saturday, February 28, 2015
Bring on the elderberry syrup
As I mentioned before, my daughter "M" was born 13 weeks early. When I was 24 weeks pregnant I went to what I thought was just a normal prenatal checkup and next thing I knew I was on a helicopter. I didn't even know I was in labor, wasn't it supposed to hurt? They were able to slow the contractions that I didn't even know I was having, and by the grace of God, and some amazing doctors and learning to eat soup laying down so I didn't have to sit up for any reason I was able to keep M in for another three weeks. You want to know what love is? Love is having a husband and mother in law wiping your butt for you because you aren't even allowed to do that yourself, it's not pretty folks. The first thing you learn when dealing with pre-term labor is every hour, day, week, counts, I truly believe if she had come at 24 weeks, she would not be here with us today. M spent 92 days in the hospital, we had some serious road blocks, but she overcame everything that was thrown at her, and right now, less than 2 months away from her 3rd birthday, she is a normal healthy child, with one exception.
M has something called Vesicoureteral reflux (VUR for short). You can "Google it" for all the finer details, but in short, it is the back flow of urine from the bladder to the kidneys. This makes her very prone to urinary tract infections. Because M was getting a lot of infections we chose to have corrective surgery about 6 weeks ago, unfortunately she has had 2 infections since then. They placed stents when the surgery was performed to help keep things open while she healed and we are thinking this might be contributing to the current infections, good news, they are scheduled to come out on Tuesday.
Bad news, my saint of a mother in law, seriously guys, she's awesome (see butt wiping above) and my father in law, also pretty great, watch M for us during the day so we don't have to have her in daycare, my MIL calls me at work yesterday to tell me M doesn't seem to be feeling good. I go pick her up and discover she has a 102 degree fever, just great. My first thought "UTI" but there is no way, she is on a super powerful antibiotic to prevent infections until the stents come out. This morning she wakes up with a stuffy nose and at this point I am thinking she just has a cold. The problem, if she is running a fever and has a cold they can't do the stent removal procedure, if they can't remove the stents she is more likely to get yet another UTI, if she gets a UTI and runs a fever they can't remove the stents...you see where I am going with this? I am pumping her full of Tylenol and elderberry syrup to give her an immune boost to hopefully help her get over this before Monday. This is her first cold of the winter, hopefully it is short lived. Positive thoughts for a speedy recovery welcomed!
Joy*
M has something called Vesicoureteral reflux (VUR for short). You can "Google it" for all the finer details, but in short, it is the back flow of urine from the bladder to the kidneys. This makes her very prone to urinary tract infections. Because M was getting a lot of infections we chose to have corrective surgery about 6 weeks ago, unfortunately she has had 2 infections since then. They placed stents when the surgery was performed to help keep things open while she healed and we are thinking this might be contributing to the current infections, good news, they are scheduled to come out on Tuesday.
Bad news, my saint of a mother in law, seriously guys, she's awesome (see butt wiping above) and my father in law, also pretty great, watch M for us during the day so we don't have to have her in daycare, my MIL calls me at work yesterday to tell me M doesn't seem to be feeling good. I go pick her up and discover she has a 102 degree fever, just great. My first thought "UTI" but there is no way, she is on a super powerful antibiotic to prevent infections until the stents come out. This morning she wakes up with a stuffy nose and at this point I am thinking she just has a cold. The problem, if she is running a fever and has a cold they can't do the stent removal procedure, if they can't remove the stents she is more likely to get yet another UTI, if she gets a UTI and runs a fever they can't remove the stents...you see where I am going with this? I am pumping her full of Tylenol and elderberry syrup to give her an immune boost to hopefully help her get over this before Monday. This is her first cold of the winter, hopefully it is short lived. Positive thoughts for a speedy recovery welcomed!
Joy*
"Do you have to spit or swab?"
"The journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step." or so says Lao Tzu. I guess, this is my step, although the past 9 years it has felt more like two steps forward and one step back. I can't say for sure where this blog will lead or what the shining focus will be. I guess the best place to start is the beginning.
I was born 31 years ago to a mother, that just wasn't quite ready for the responsibility, I guess if truth be told, even after 31 years, she still isn't ready. Lucky for me I had grandparents and aunts and uncles who were willing to step up and fill in the gaps, even though there were times my mother didn't make it easy on them. She used me as a pawn in some elaborate chess game, never paying too much attention to me, but always ready to use me in battle when it suited her.
I don't know my biological father, my entire life I was always told his name, and fed lies when I would ask my mother questions, a fairy tale she created in her mind. When I was around 22 I decided it was time to find him, my mother and I already had strained relationship so I did not include her in the search. I located him, let's call him "S" and from the first conversation he was very open to the possibility of being my father. "S" even offered to fly to Texas to meet me. Being the ever cautious soul I am though, I asked for a paternity test. I didn't want to get too close to someone, only to be let down. I think a part of me knew the truth. The day the test came back negative, I was devastated. My mother had no idea what was going on, I had talked to her the day before, just normal every day talk, that was the last time I would speak to her. My aunt confronted her with the test results, in hindsight that was probably not the best decision and let's just say it turned out...badly... After finding out Mother tried to reach out to me, not to apologize, or see how I was doing, or to figure things out, but to leave a voice mail that was so horrible, and hateful, that my husband wouldn't even let me hear it. Mother still insists "S" is my father, unfortunately he has since passed away. I am at an impasse right now, do I continue on? Do I try to sort through the truth and lies, without any help from Mother, to find the truth, whatever that may be, about my biological father, or do I just forget it? I have decided to plow ahead, to do whatever I can to find the truth, even though I may not like the final results. Which leads me to the title of today's blog post. After a short hiatus from the search, I am beginning again, going over my files on possible men who could be my father, and figuring out if there is any one else I can talk to for clues. I also ordered today, from Family Tree DNA, a DNA kit so that I can see if I have any possible relative matches out there, and hopefully that will provide me with some answers. A co-worker asked if I had to spit into a vial or just do a cheek swab, apparently he did it with another company that required a vial of spit, I am hoping for a swab....stay tuned.
I am also a wife, to a wonderful husband, we have been married almost 10 years and he is always willing to put up with the craziness I throw at him with a smile on his face, most of the time. We have a beautiful daughter, who will be 3 soon. We fought hard to get her, almost 7 years of fertility treatment, and fought even harder to keep her when she decided to come 13 weeks early. She is now healthy and amazing, and the strongest human I know.
This post was a little longer than I planned, but that is me in a nutshell, without all the nice filler. A search for a bio dad, a crazy preschooler at home, and a Pinterest page 50 boards long, that's what you can expect to find here, those are the pieces that make the puzzle that is my life.
Until Next Time,
Joy
I was born 31 years ago to a mother, that just wasn't quite ready for the responsibility, I guess if truth be told, even after 31 years, she still isn't ready. Lucky for me I had grandparents and aunts and uncles who were willing to step up and fill in the gaps, even though there were times my mother didn't make it easy on them. She used me as a pawn in some elaborate chess game, never paying too much attention to me, but always ready to use me in battle when it suited her.
I don't know my biological father, my entire life I was always told his name, and fed lies when I would ask my mother questions, a fairy tale she created in her mind. When I was around 22 I decided it was time to find him, my mother and I already had strained relationship so I did not include her in the search. I located him, let's call him "S" and from the first conversation he was very open to the possibility of being my father. "S" even offered to fly to Texas to meet me. Being the ever cautious soul I am though, I asked for a paternity test. I didn't want to get too close to someone, only to be let down. I think a part of me knew the truth. The day the test came back negative, I was devastated. My mother had no idea what was going on, I had talked to her the day before, just normal every day talk, that was the last time I would speak to her. My aunt confronted her with the test results, in hindsight that was probably not the best decision and let's just say it turned out...badly... After finding out Mother tried to reach out to me, not to apologize, or see how I was doing, or to figure things out, but to leave a voice mail that was so horrible, and hateful, that my husband wouldn't even let me hear it. Mother still insists "S" is my father, unfortunately he has since passed away. I am at an impasse right now, do I continue on? Do I try to sort through the truth and lies, without any help from Mother, to find the truth, whatever that may be, about my biological father, or do I just forget it? I have decided to plow ahead, to do whatever I can to find the truth, even though I may not like the final results. Which leads me to the title of today's blog post. After a short hiatus from the search, I am beginning again, going over my files on possible men who could be my father, and figuring out if there is any one else I can talk to for clues. I also ordered today, from Family Tree DNA, a DNA kit so that I can see if I have any possible relative matches out there, and hopefully that will provide me with some answers. A co-worker asked if I had to spit into a vial or just do a cheek swab, apparently he did it with another company that required a vial of spit, I am hoping for a swab....stay tuned.
I am also a wife, to a wonderful husband, we have been married almost 10 years and he is always willing to put up with the craziness I throw at him with a smile on his face, most of the time. We have a beautiful daughter, who will be 3 soon. We fought hard to get her, almost 7 years of fertility treatment, and fought even harder to keep her when she decided to come 13 weeks early. She is now healthy and amazing, and the strongest human I know.
This post was a little longer than I planned, but that is me in a nutshell, without all the nice filler. A search for a bio dad, a crazy preschooler at home, and a Pinterest page 50 boards long, that's what you can expect to find here, those are the pieces that make the puzzle that is my life.
Until Next Time,
Joy
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